the way that the direction of the stories for almost all the characters change or divert from what was intended originally whenever jughead loses another fight against censorship…
i love you mirror versions i love you possession i love you cloning i love you simulacrums i love you shadow selves i love you digital copies of a mind i love you alternate timeline versions i love you tropes that play with identity and what it means to be a certain person
‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs
in 1955, archie andrews induced a level of secondhand embarrassment that immobilized a room full of people. the CIA calls this a category 5 cringe incapacitation. this is the only monitored instance of its kind. the CIA has since attempted to recreate this event in hopes of weaponizing its power, coming close with improv comedy among future SNL cast members, but to this day the organization has yet to find the key to unlock the unique ability Andrews’ displayed on this day.
one thing about archie andrews is he is going to start a union. mayor trying to kick someone off the basketball team because of racism? union. ancient wizard man trying to tear down the most important building in town but not compensating his crew properly? union. serial killer running rampant in the town? union but they are shirtless and wear little red masks.
her ability to sniff out teen deliquency is unmatched. she hears “your dress is a little tight let’s adjust it” and she activates like a sleeper agent at the chance to send another teen girl to the sisters of quiet mercy, where Alice presumably receives a commission for each teen sent their way
